14 Mixed Messages All ’80s Kids Got From Cartoons

And they wonder why we’re so screwed up.

1. It’s alright that your boyfriend cheats on you.

Hasbro

Hasbro

 

Strangely, Jerrica never seemed to have much of an issue that her boyfriend, Rio, was having an affair with her alter-ego Jem.

2. It’s totally cool to take a controlled substance that gives you crazy energy and causes you to, literally, bounce off the walls.

Walt Disney Television

Clearly the Gummiberry Juice that the Gummi Bears made was some sort of crazy meth — which might explain why Duke Igthorn really wanted it.

3. It’s perfectly OK to terrorize senior citizens.

Cookie Jar Group

Cookie Jar Group

 

Poor retired Mr. Wilson, he just wanted to live a peaceful quite life, but Dennis and his gang felt the need to torment him. And even worse, Dennis’ parents seemed perfectly cool with that.

4. No one ever gets hurt in gun battles.

Hasbro

For as many battles as the G.I. Joe Team got in with Cobra Command, no one ever seemed to get wounded. Maybe the fact that they were such bad marksmen was the reason they could never take down Cobra?

5. You might have a long lost sibling out there that you might want to hook up with.

Warner Bros.

I think it’s safe to say that He-Man and She-Ra were the original Jaime and Cersei Lannister. And don’t act like you didn’t ship it.

6. It’s OK to harm someone as long as you’re doing it because of love.

Seriously, that Care Bear stare was NO JOKE. The Care Bears might have seemed like cuddly harmless creatures, but they weren’t above taking you down.

7. If a crime happens, you should help solve it.

Walt Disney Television

The Rescue Rangers were always snooping in on the police and taking on cases that probably should’ve been handled by actual law enforcement — or at least professional rodent law enforcement.

8. It’s perfectly safe to leave toddlers unsupervised for several hours.

Like who in the hell was raising all those Muppet Babies?! ‘Cause it sure as hell wasn’t Nanny — who never seemed to be around.

9. You should love money more than anything else.

Walt Disney Animation / Via giphy.com

Sure, Scrooge McDuck had a rather large extended family, he was even raising his three grandnephews, Huey, Dewey, and Louie. But what he seemed to care for the most was his vast fortune and his Number One Dime.

10. If you’re the only female in a situation, expect to get harassed, constantly.

Poor Smurfette, those perpetually horny Smurfs seemed to never give her a second to breathe.

11. It’s normal for a creepy adult to hang out with a teenage girl.

A creepy poltergeist adult to be exact. Let’s be honest, Beetlejuice and Lydia’s relationship was clearly a (paranormal) episode of To Catch a Predator waiting to happen.

Also, why weren’t Lydia’s parents just a little more concerned with the fact that she was very obsessed with the occult?

12. Being a super-rich teenager gives you permission to be ruthless and mistreat those who are not as well off as you.

Mill Creek Entertainment

Beverly Hills Teens was perfectly suited for the ’80s, the decade of excess. The show featured rich spoiled teenagers that in between attending high school, spent all their time living a Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous wet dream. Of course the show’s true star was Bianca Dupree, who was the series’ resident villain who used her money to scheme against her friends and be cruel to her chauffeur Wilshire.

13. It’s fine to keep secrets from adults.

Yeah having a dinosaur friend like Denver would be cool, but having it possibly kill one of your friends, not so cool.

But, you know, don’t let your parents know ‘cause they might take your dangerous friend away.

14. You should strive to be irresponsible and constantly stoned.

The Jim Henson Company / Via muppet.wikia.com

Those Fraggles were high-as-fuck 24/7, and they did nothing but lay around, have the munchies, and share in each others trippy dreams.

On second thought, those hippie Fraggles were onto something.

Read more: http://www.buzzfeed.com/briangalindo/14-mixed-messages-all-80s-kids-got-from-cartoons

‘Don’t mess with the pilot': Actress Eliza Dushku’s airplane drama [video]

Actress Eliza Dushku tweeted about a passenger aboard her flight today who appeared to be getting confrontational with a pilot. In the short video below Dushku posted, a flight attendant can be seen and heard asking for some passengers to make their presence known:

Confronting a pilot on a passenger plane = not the smartest thing to do.

Read more: http://twitchy.com/2013/12/16/dont-mess-with-the-pilot-actress-eliza-dushkus-airplane-drama-video/

Let us be clear: The #SOTUDrinkingGame will give you alcohol poisoning

Greg Gutfeld of “The Five” already laid out the rules of his State of the Union drinking game, but with the speech drawing close, it’s time to make final preparations.

http://twitter.com/#!/catoletters/status/428274898046181376

http://twitter.com/#!/p4lm2/status/428306343695351808

http://twitter.com/#!/p4lm2/status/428310931030806529

http://twitter.com/#!/hbob09/status/428327861422796800

Read more: http://twitchy.com/2014/01/28/let-us-be-clear-the-sotudrinkinggame-will-give-you-alcohol-poisoning/

Is It Food, Or Not? With These 25 Tricky Photos It’s Hard To Tell.

Playing with your food is a bad thing, right? Wrong. We know that your mother told you not to, but these days if your food doesn’t look as amazing as it tastes, well, you might as well not bother stepping foot in the kitchen. Take a look at these amazing works of food masterpiece art and scope out some of the recipes to see if you can top these chefs.

2. Chocolate turntable

3. Crayon Chocolate

4. Jackson Pollock inspired chocolate

5. Jackson Pollock inspired rice crispy

6. Mondrian Cake

7. Van Gogh inspired salad

8. Screaming Fudge

10. Fruit and Veggie Animals

13. Soup Rice Bath

14. Chewie Noodles

15. Kevin Bacon

17. Crustacean Sausage Rolls

18. Hungry Caterpillar inspired snack

19. Kermit and Animal lunch set

20. And Miss Piggy, too

21. Pikachu sushi

22. Turtle Power Cheese Ball

23. Lady Bug Caprese Salad

24. Shark-melon

25. Croco-melon (for the more intense carver)

Picky eaters won’t be able to put this stuff down. Share the sweet treats with your friends using the button below!

Read more: http://viralnova.com/amazing-food-art/

America’s nuttiest professor returns to Twitter; Update: Deleted again

http://twitter.com/#!/ErikLoomis/status/268527655849164800

Quick! Grab screencaps before the mad professor deletes them again:

https://twitter.com/ErikLoomis/status/268526439136108544

https://twitter.com/ErikLoomis/status/268533904468758529

https://twitter.com/ErikLoomis/status/268539858975334401

Erik Loomis, as most Twitchy readers know, is the hypocritical University of Rhode Island professor who retweeted a tweet advocating murder of certain gun rights proponents.

His bio used to note his position as assistant professor at the University of Rhode Island. Not anymore.

Anyway, after deleting his Twitter account on Tuesday, Mr. Angry is back today. We can look forward to many more tweets like these:

https://twitter.com/ErikLoomis/status/270679091752099840

https://twitter.com/ErikLoomis/status/269522091336925185

https://twitter.com/ErikLoomis/status/260588272529592320

https://twitter.com/ErikLoomis/status/260581461550321664

https://twitter.com/ErikLoomis/status/280881070373744640

https://twitter.com/ErikLoomis/status/280878367211925504

https://twitter.com/ErikLoomis/status/270281830316511233

https://twitter.com/ErikLoomis/status/266050312526241792

https://twitter.com/ErikLoomis/status/266044220752670720

https://twitter.com/ErikLoomis/status/257995712485277696

Wait, are we allowed to republish Loomis’ tweets? Or does that somehow violate Loomis’ academic freedom?

Update, 2:12 pm ET:  Loomis has deleted his account again.

Related:

“Not a firing offense, but certainly worthy of widespread mockery.”

Free speech academics rally around academic who wanted to shut down NRA free speech

Professors decry ‘witch hunt,’ rally around Erik Loomis in name of ‘academic freedom’

Liberal journo Mike Elk sad about death threats to death threat connoisseur Erik Loomis

Flashback: Erik Loomis criticized Sarah Palin for ‘violent rhetoric’

Sick retweet by disgraced Rhode Island prof Erik Loomis: ‘Hunt down Dick Morris like a pig’

Rhode Island professor Erik Loomis deletes his Twitter account; Update: What is he hiding?

University of Rhode Island professor’s retweet: Murder anyone who thinks teachers should be armed; Update: Police met with prof; Update: University issues statement

Read more: http://twitchy.com/2012/12/21/great-news-americas-nuttiest-professor-returns-to-twitter/

‘Proud socialist’ Kshama Sawant joins ‘McPoverty’ picket line in Seattle

The same group that turned a Martin Luther King Jr. Day march into a protest for a $15 an hour minimum wage was at it again today in Seattle, Wash., calling for a one-day citywide boycott of McDonald’s, Wendy’s and Burger King.

Council member Kshama Sawant, who describes herself as a proud socialist, again marched with the protesters.

Not even President Obama is suggesting a $15 an hour minimum wage, and it wasn’t all solidarity under the #McPoverty hashtag either.

http://twitter.com/#!/JustAnotherMo/status/436641122501144577

http://twitter.com/#!/JustAnotherMo/status/436641856534102016

Read more: http://twitchy.com/2014/02/20/proud-socialist-kshama-sawant-joins-mcpoverty-picket-line-in-seattle/