*insert “Eureka!” emoji here*
Getting an Exceeds Expectations on your potions N.E.W.T is easier than you’d think.
The subtle science and exact art of potion-making (that’s “bartending,” to Muggles) is difficult, but it can be mastered.
According to Professor Snape, a good potion can “bewitch the mind and ensnare the senses.” You can “bottle fame, brew glory, and even put a stopper in death,” if you know what you’re doing. While some of these goals are a little out of range to us Muggles, a good time is not. So here are some recipes that will get you drunk, honor the wizard within, and hopefully earn you some serious house points.
1. Unicorn Blood
“The blood of a unicorn will keep you alive, even if you are an inch from death, but at a terrible price. You have slain something pure and defenseless to save yourself, and you will have but a half-life, a cursed life, from the moment the blood touches your lips.” — Firenze the Centaur
Bummer, huh? Luckily this cocktail won’t lead to a cursed life — just a fun night.
1.5 oz silver tequila
1.5 oz St. Germain (elderflower liqueur)
1 oz lemon juice
Add everything to a cocktail shaker with ice and shake (hard!) for a full 20 seconds. Strain into a coupe glass.
2. Hair Of The Three-Headed Dog
Three-headed-dogs are a pain: Just when you think you have everything under control, another head seems to pop out of nowhere…kind of like a hangover. This Bloody Mary/Michelada/Bulldog mutt will soothe your splitting head and start working on a new one at the same time.
Hair of the Three-Headed Dog
1.5 oz tequila
1/2 cup tomato juice
1 tablespoon lime juice
1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce
1 teaspoon Tabasco
1 12-oz bottle Mexican beer (like Corona or Modelo)
2 tablespoons kosher salt
1/2 teaspoon chili powder
1 celery stalk, washed, root end trimmed (optional)
Mix tequila, tomato juice, lime juice, Worcestershire and Tabasco sauces. Mix salt and chili powder together in a small bowl or saucer. Rub the rim of a pint glass with a slice of lime and roll the outside of the glass rim in the chili salt to coat it. Fill glass halfway with ice, add tomato mixture, stir well, and top with beer. Garnish with celery if you like.
3. Wolfsbane Potion
Unfortunately for you and Professor Lupin, there is no permanent cure for being a werewolf. But Wolfsbane can help keep things under control. Be warned, though: This drink is not for the faint of heart.
1.5 oz Scotch whiskey
1.5 oz Fernet-Branca
Combine Scott and Fernet in a shaker with ice and stir vigorously for 20 seconds, until fully chilled. Strain into a rocks glass with a large ice cube.* Top with cola, to taste.
*We used this mold to make an icy full moon. Awooo!
4. The Phoenix Feather
Guaranteed to perk you right up, even if you’ve been bitten by a basilisk.
The Phoenix Feather
Lillet is a delicious wine-based aperitif you can find at most liquor stores.
2 oz Lillet Blanc
1.5 oz Campari
1 oz fresh-squeezed grapefruit juice
seltzer or club soda
Combine Lillet, Campari, and grapefruit juice in a cocktail shaker with ice and shake, vigorously, for about 20 seconds. Strain into a Collins glass filled with ice cubes and top with seltzer.
This is a little boozier than the Three Broomsticks’ finest, so you may want to skip the bourbon if you’re serving it to any Hogwarts students.
Homemade butterscotch sauce will be the most delicious here, but use store-bought if there’s a brand you like. You can swap in ginger ale if you can’t find a good (non-alcoholic) ginger beer, like Reed’s or Gosling’s.
6-8 tablespoons butterscotch sauce (depending how sweet you like it)
3 cups apple cider
1 cup bourbon whiskey (optional)
2 cups ginger beer
Whipped cream, for garnish
Heat cider, bourbon and butterscotch syrup in a medium saucepan until the butterscotch dissolves and the mixture is steaming hot. Remove from heat and stir in the ginger beer. Ladle into mugs and serve with loads of whipped cream on top.
6. Polyjuice Potion
Be careful with stuff; you might not turn into exactly the person you had in mind (just ask Hermione).
We used a green juice from Blueprint, but you can make your own if you have a juicer or pick up a cup from your favorite juice shop. It should include some citrus and at least one fruit, like apple or pineapple, for sweetness. The Chartreuse liqueur adds an interesting herbal note, but you can skip if you’d rather (it’s expensive).
1.5 oz gin
1.5 oz fresh-pressed or bottled green juice
1 oz green Chartreuse
Â½ oz lime juice
7-Up or Sprite (optional)
Shake gin, juices, and Chartreuse in a shaker with ice. Strain into a glass (you can serve up or over ice) and top with a splash of soda if you’d like it a little lighter.
7. Felix Felicis (“Liquid Luck”)
“Brewed correctly the drinker of this potion will be lucky in all their endeavours, but be warned…excessive consumption is highly toxic and can cause extreme recklessness.” — Zygmunt Budge, 16th century potioneer
This fizzy version of Felix is sure to boost your confidence levels on and off the Quidditch field.
To make simple syrup, just heat equal parts sugar and water until fully dissolved, then cool.
1/4 oz simple syrup
1/4 oz lemon juice
1.5 oz ginger beer
Champagne or other sparkling wine
Mix simple syrup and lemon juice in the bottom of a champagne flute. Add ginger beer and fill with Champagne.
“Amortentia doesn’t create actual love, of course. That’s impossible. But it does cause a powerful infatuation or obsession. For that reason, it is probably the most dangerous potion in this room.” —Horace Slughorn
This powerful love potion is best made as a big, party-size punch, so that everyone can enjoy its embarrassing effects together.
Get the (very easy) recipe here, plus instructions for making a pretty punch bowl ice ring with fruit.
“100 points to you for getting us drunk!” — your friends
Recipes by Rachel Sanders. Styling by John Gara, Lauren Zaser, and Mackenzie Kruvant. Photographs by Lauren Zaser. Graphics by Justine Zwiebel.
The front page of Thursday’s Boston Herald doesn’t pull any punches about Rolling Stone’s terror glam shot of accused bomber Dzhokhar Tsarnaev.
Some felt the Herald’s response didn’t adhere to the lofty “traditions of journalism” that Rolling Stone clearly exemplifies with its rock-star treatment of terrorism.
We wish her luck during her recovery.
We don’t mean to harp on Guantanamo Bay (so much), but there are certain promises you just don’t make. You don’t pledge tomaintain the temperature of the globe like it entails turning the thermostat up or down a notch, and you don’t promise to cure cancer. Nevertheless, in Tuesday’s State of the Union address, President Obama likened curing cancer to landing a man on the moon.
Better yet, he put Vice President Joe Biden in charge of the effort.
Last year, Vice President Biden said that with a new moonshot, America can cure cancer. Last month, he worked with this Congress to give scientists at the National Institutes of Health the strongest resources theyve had in over a decade. Tonight, Im announcing a new national effort to get it done. And because hes gone to the mat for all of us, on so many issues over the past forty years, Im putting Joe in charge of Mission Control. For the loved ones weve all lost, for the family we can still save, lets make America the country that cures cancer once and for all.
Read more: https://imgflip.com/i/b7k33
When the House failed to pass a pork-laden $60 billion Sandy relief bill earlier this month, New York GOP Rep. Peter King called it “indefensible” and called Republicans who opposed the bill “disgraceful.” Congress eventually decided to pass relief legislation in two phases, and is set to vote today on the second. Many conservatives are opposed to this legislation being passed as-is because it is loaded with non-Sandy-related pork. But King wants his out-of-state colleagues to know that they’d better toe his line this time around … or else:
For those who weren’t there when NY needed them, the day will come when they need us & I’ll have it in my memory bank: myfoxny.com/video?autoStar…
— Rep. Pete King (@RepPeteKing) January 15, 2013
Uh, beg your pardon?
King fails to reserve any outrage for the bill’s plethora of pork:
@reppeteking The original bill was loaded with pork that had nothing to do with Sandy. Why don’t you grow a pair and point that out?
— Blue_In_Green (@Blue_In_Green59) January 15, 2013
@reppeteking is that why there was $$ for Alaska in the bill???
— Frunkis (@navyvetpc6) January 15, 2013
And instead resorts to an ominous veiled threat.
Save us your threats, @reppeteking. Very immature. NY/NJ isn’t the only part of US that’s suffered mass destruction in past 15 yrs. Grow up
— Blue_In_Green (@Blue_In_Green59) January 15, 2013
@reppeteking That is the creepiest verbiage for an elected official to spout that I have ever heard. You are a corrupt criminal dirt bag.
— The TRUTH Project (@TruthProjectUS) January 15, 2013
Or, as Rep. King might say, “disgraceful.”